Saturday, October 2, 2010

Parental Alienation - What is it and why is it destroying our children?

Parental alienation is any behavior by a parent, a child's mother or father, whether conscious or unconscious, that could create alienation in the relationship between a child and the other parent. Parental alienation can be mild and temporary or extreme and ongoing. Most researchers believe that any alienation of a child against (the child's) other parent is harmful to the child and to the target parent. Extreme, obsessive, and ongoing parental alienation can cause terrible psychological damage to children extending well into adulthood. Parental Alienation focuses on the alienating parent’s behavior as opposed to the alienated parent's and alienated children's conditions.



This definition is different from Parental Alienation Syndrome as defined by Dr. Richard Gardner in 1987: "a disturbance in which children are preoccupied with deprecation and criticism of a parent-denigration that is unjustified and/or exaggerated." Parental Alienation Syndrome symptoms describe the child's behaviors and attitude towards the targeted parent after the child has been effectively programmed and severely alienated from the targeted parent. Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) has been extensively criticized by some scientists and jurists, who describe it as inadmissible in child custody hearings based on both science and law. The syndrome is not listed "in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) as a psychiatric disorder and is not recognized as a valid medical syndrome by the American Medical Association, or the American Psychological Association."Parental alienation, on the other hand, describes the alienating parent's or parents' conduct which may induce parental alienation syndrome in children.

Parental alienation is a form of relational aggression by one parent against the other parent using their common children. The process can become cyclic with each parent attempting to alienate the children from the other. There is potential for a negative feedback loop and escalation. At other times an affected parent may withdraw leaving the children to the alienating parent. Children so alienated often suffer effects similar to those studied in the psychology of torture. (Sources: External link articles below and late adulthood consciousness of parental alienation)
Alienating parents often use grandparents, aunts/uncles, and elder siblings to alienate their children against the target parent. In some cases, mental health professionals become unwitting allies in these alienation attempts by backing unfounded allegations of neglect, abuse or mental disease.
Forms of parental alienation include:-
  • brainwashing,
  • character assassination
  • the false inducement of fear
  • incitement of shame,
  • using children to commit relational aggression against the target parent,
  • loss of self control,
  • flareups of anger,
  • unconscious alliances with the children against the target parent.
  • deliberate denigration of the children's relationship with the target parent.
Parental alienation can all be mild, moderate, or extreme. Parental alienation often forces children to choose sides and become allies against the other parent. Children caught in the middle of such conflicts suffer severe losses of love, respect and peace during their formative years. They also often lose their alienated parent forever. These consequences and a host of others cause terrible traumas to children.
There is, of course, no doubt that some parents, particularly mothers, are responsible for alienating their children from their fathers without good reason and thereby creating this sometimes insoluble problem. That unhappy state of affairs, well known in family courts, is a long way from recognized syndrome requiring mental health professionals to play an expert role.

Because of the nature of the The Children Act, in the UK, which fundamentally changed the emphasis in statue from the rights of the parent to be granted custody or access by the courts, to the responsibility of the parents to provide care for the child, this has led to claims being made by shared parenting groups, that the rights of parents regarding their children, of both Mothers and Fathers, have been systematically eroded. Professionals advising on legal matters in the UK, frequently note that Social Services departments, are engaging more and more frequently into the lives of family's, where it was not the case before The Children Act 1989. This leads to shared parenting groups claiming the Children Act 1989, has only allowed extra interference into private and family life thus encouraging; or acting as a catalyst for; parental alienation.
Because of the application of the Welfare Checklist in section 1 of The Children Act, which leads to a situation whereby any particular section of the Welfare Checklist may be applied over that of another, a situation has arisen whereby ambiguity is reported to arise in cases brought before the family court. Cases such as alleged parental alienation by mother are given equal weight to other forms of alleged child mistreatment by father. This is felt by some as an attack on mothers' rights leading to a steady increase in mothers' rights groups.


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