Cyber Stalker's and Internet Bully's are you one?

Have you ever sent cruel, vicious and sometimes threatening messages? Have you created web sites that contain stories, cartoons, pictures and jokes ridiculing others or posting pictures of people online with intent to embarrass them? Then this as per the definition and terms of Cyber Bullying would make you one. In the schooling systems it is emerging as one of the more challenging issues facing educators, since it has a direct impact on students but often occurs away from school property. A Cyber Stalker is one that initiates constant unwanted contact with you and they have been found as per the American Psychological Association Journal as mainly pedophiles in the making. I remember it as a kid but learned quick most of them were just looking for attention, also taking martial arts came in handy because once you gave them a good ass whooping they seemed to find someone else to pick on. I am not saying violence towards violence works but in my case it did. Last week Ellen DeGeneres put out a Public Service Announcement on Cyber Bullying and suicide where four were highly publicized in the US media. A young university student that came out that he was homosexual was attacked repeatedly on the internet and because of the cyber bullying ended up committing suicide.

Scientists say that bullying is largely a learned behavior. One way that people learn behaviors is by watching others and then imitating what they observe. "We know that kids model from their parents," says Russell Skiba, a professor of school psychology at Indiana University. In a home environment where parents use verbal and physical abuse, kids may register that aggression is a way to obtain results, or get what they want.

Experts emphasize that not all kids from troubled homes become bullies, and not all bullies come from troubled homes. Some teens learn bullying behavior by modeling their friends at school. Ironically, some kids who were bullied themselves turn around and victimize others.

Surveys show that bullying is particularly widespread among teens. Scientists believe one possible reason is that the prefrontal cortex, or the area of the brain that oversees judgment and self-control, isn't fully developed during the teenage years. Therefore, teens may be more vulnerable to making bad decisions such as modeling aggressive behaviors.

Bullies can be male or female, and can come in all shapes and sizes. Studies show that many bullies are also smart and popular. Experts say that girl bullies generally use indirect methods of expressing aggression such as rumors and exclusion. Boys, on the other hand, are often prone to physical bullying. In recent years, bullying has also gone high-tech. An increasing number of both boys and girls are sending spiteful e-mails and text messages, or creating slander-filled Web pages. In a 2005 survey conducted by Clemson University, at Clemson, S.C maintains, 25 percent of girls and 11 percent of boys in American middle schools said that they had been targeted by cyber bullies at least once within a two-month period.

Skiba points out that while bullies may not fit a stereotype , all bullies do have one thing in common: "They seem to be more rewarded by others' reactions to their bullying." Bullies may enjoy seeing their victim's angry or fearful reactions. Bullies may also feel rewarded by the attention they get from onlookers. Skiba explains that behavioral psychologists have found that if a behavior produces a reward, then it reinforces the learning of that behavior.The danger lies in that the Internet is vast, public and constantly expanding. And, if adults or children have not developed critical thinking skills, are unsupervised or create websites that are not monitored, they can be at risk of unknowingly communicating with predators, spammers or pornographers. Facebook, MySpace and the list goes on where our children today are online. They say most teenagers visit websites to communicate with friends and meet new people and according to MySpace, 22 per cent of its users are younger than 18.
So knowing now what it is and what the experts are saying here are tips that I have found over the internet on how to curb this menacing behavior. Bullies are likely to register for an anonymous e-mail account such as Hotmail, Yahoo or Gmail using a fake name. If you receive threatening e-mail messages, instruct your e-mail program to block messages from that address. Then inform your Internet Service Provider (ISP). Don't reply to messages from cyber bullies and if your under 18 tell an adult you know and trust. Just as with any other kind of bullying, ignoring it often leads to escalation. If the bullying is occurring through text messaging, use call display or dial *69 to identify the phone number and have it tracked through your cell phone/pager service provider. Instant messages (e.g. yahoo instant messenger, Microsoft Messenger) are best handled by blocking messages from certain senders. If physical threats are made or the bullying escalates, inform your local police. Do not erase or delete messages from cyber bullies. You don't have to read them, but keep them as evidence. You may get similar messages from other accounts. The police, your ISP and/or your telephone company can use these messages to help you. If all else fails, get a new phone number, account or e-mail address and give it out to only one person at a time.

I think after reading and working with Anti-bullying activists Shelley Smith and Rob Frenette that this is a constant issue in New Brunswick that we still face today. I even have a few cyber stalkers myself but know they are just a few that hide and won't confront me man to man. So as they say education is the best way to defeat a problem especially bullying. So hopefully this was educational and helpful if it wasn't Prove me Wrong.